Change Your Patterns, Change Your Life
By: Ron Patulski
Share Via:
Stephen R. Covey said, “You can’t talk yourself out of what you behave yourself into.” Behavior is unconscious (meaning you are not aware) and is driven by patterns that have become habitual over time. Behavior is action, and actions drive results. If you’re unhappy with any outcome, consider it’s time to go to the source.
The first step to change is awareness. How important is awareness? A student once asked a Zen master, “How long does it take to change?” The master replied, “It could take a lifetime to become aware but only an instant to change.” Surely, you can see that awareness is the critical first step to change.
Intention is the key to heightening awareness. You become aware of your behavior and actions when you intend to get a different result. Intention stimulates awareness, showing a gap between what you are getting and what you intend to get. The gap is the catalyst that brings the behavior(s) to your attention. Because you can’t change anything you’re unaware of, the intention to obtain a different result stimulates the awareness of the behaviors and actions to change. Since a source of behaviors and actions are patterns, modifying patterns is the next important step to creating permanent change.
What you do habitually is the result of patterns. We have patterns for everything we do individually. Our behaviors are patterns. Your morning routine, driving to work or coffee shop, and interacting with people are patterns that determine what you do and how you interact. Our thinking is also a function of patterns. When you experience anything, your databank of stored experiences is triggered, and thoughts and self-talk around that type of experience are activated. Similar experiences stimulate similar thoughts and self-talk, creating similar feelings and behaviors every time. This is a thought pattern.
We are also exposed to external or collective patterns. If we don’t adjust our behavior in response to a new external pattern, it can impact our results and success. For example, we are exposed to nature’s seasons, even if they vary somewhat in the different areas of the world. We are exposed to the seasons of our country’s economy. We experienced a “Summer” in our U.S. economy from 2012 to 2022 fueled by demand, low inflation, and the unprecedented low cost of money. 2023, with inflation flaring up and the Federal Reserve responding by increasing the cost of borrowing money, we quickly went from Summer to Fall to a version of Winter. It’s important to understand that a path to a result (“a pattern”) is impacted by the “context” in which it operates. The context of Summer is different than Winter. If you don’t adjust to the new season, you will feel the impact on your experiences and results.
For example, it’s easier to achieve the result of being warm in the Summer than in the Winter. You seek the same result of being warm, but the way to do that in Summer differs from Winter. It is also true in our economic seasons. Our economy is in a Winter season with more uncertainty, higher interest rates, and inflation, so the strategy to succeed in the pattern of Winter differs from the pattern of Summer we left behind in 2022.
Whether a pattern is individual or collective, the prescription is the same, and awareness is the foundational essential step. Since patterns drive behaviors and actions, patterns create results. If you want a different result, investigate the pattern that produces it. Pattern Recognition, Pattern Utilization, and Pattern Creation are three steps to changing patterns.
Step 1: Pattern Recognition
To identify or recognize a pattern, start with the result. Evaluate what’s happening and not happening and analyze the behaviors and actions contributing to that result.
For example, I was snacking at night during the work week and realized I wasn’t even hungry. Realizing that this behavior was not supporting my health goals, I dug into the pattern that created it. It started with a belief that I was hungry, and I became aware and realized that was not true. Another example of an intended result could be a desire to be happy. I recently saw a study showing that happiness results from gratitude. It contrasted people who had abundance and were not happy with people who had very little and were. Underneath these different results, the researchers found a pattern. People who had a little expressed gratitude for what they did have. People who had abundance did not express gratitude for what they had. The pattern of gratitude made a difference in the result of experiencing happiness. It requires recognizing the shift if it’s an external pattern, such as the economy shifting from Summer to Winter.
Step 2: Pattern Utilization
Pattern Recognition is more of a global step. Pattern Utilization is a granular step and focuses on how the pattern works.
In the first example above, I analyzed the pattern in this step. I noticed the pattern started with the thought of being hungry. This led to a search for food in the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets. Once I determined what was available, I created options, picked my poison, and “let the snacking begin.” In the second example, the research looked at the behavior of both groups to determine what one group was doing that the other wasn’t to distinguish any different patterns that existed. In doing so, they exposed the pattern of gratitude as the difference maker for the desired result.
When a new external pattern appears like a shift in the economy from Summer to Winter it is important to understand the shift in people’s attitudes and actions. In business, you may notice fewer people are calling, fewer people are buying, or they’re asking more questions before buying. This is a new pattern and understanding the economic forces impacting people to engage in your business, allows you to create new approaches and patterns to succeed.
Step 3: Pattern Creation
Once you’ve evaluated a result, recognized the pattern driving the result, and understood how the pattern works and is used, you can modify or create a new pattern.
The snacking pattern I developed previously led to a result that wasn’t serving me and was misaligned with my health goals. This gave me an option to change the pattern. Rather than continue the old pattern, I created a new one. It started with being aware that I wasn’t hungry, which frequently was enough to end my snacking. Other times, rather than looking for food, I reviewed the option of having a cup of tea, black coffee, or a glass of water. These new patterns replaced the old ones, and the result of snacking is no longer an issue. And since the pattern is different, the result I now experience is aligned with my health goal.
A simple new pattern used consistently can change everything.
It is easy to take the daily gifts and opportunities for granted, leading to a lack of appreciation and gratitude. As the research previously indicated, showing gratitude daily fosters well-being and happiness. We often hear from clients how they feel lighter, more confident, fulfilled, and happier when they adopt a simple daily gratitude ritual. The ritual can consist of writing one thing they are grateful for and putting it in a bowl or writing several things they are thankful for in their journal before they start their day.
When the economy moves from Summer to Winter, increased interest rates and inflation common to this season create more uncertainty, which increases fear about what to do, and people become more tentative and less trusting. In business, during the Winter season, asking more questions and seeking to understand helps build trust. Being your word and following through with your actions creates more certainty and trust. Discussing expectations and the next steps creates more certainty and helps people make decisions and take action.
As you know, the world is constantly changing. The question is, are you?
If you want to change your life, change your pattern(s) using this three-step process. If you need assistance changing patterns, watch this short video to see how others have changed patterns, and use this link to explore the possibilities for you. Remember, when you change your patterns, you change your life!
In 2011, after coaching an Executive at KW/MAPS Coaching, a division of Keller Williams Realty International, Ron was offered an opportunity to move to Austin, Texas and be an integral part of growing KW/MAPS Coaching. He started as V.P of Operations for MAPS Coaching, moved on to the position of V.P of MAPS Coaching and was instrumental in the development of MAPS Transformational Coaching, hiring and training coaches and ultimately serving as the Director of the division. During this time, he played an integral part to grow the client-coaching roster by 7x it’s original size, hired and developed 100’s of talented business coaches, and in the process, developed an amazing community of coaches and clients.
